ahhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My Lifesaver

Check out this site for amazing AutoCad 2D and 3D files.

archinoah.com the architecture portal for architects
Quelltext:
archinoah.com the architecture portal for architects

Respect Yourself -- Author Unknown

MY SISTER:

I'd rather see you
introduced to the world beyond your door by readin'
Or voicing your pain & frustrations by writin'
Either of those pass-times
Are more productive and enriching
Than just filling your days
With fuckin' or fightin'

I'd rather see you
Walking with a regal stature
Standing out as something different from the throng
And NOT by receiving attention
Because of your, deliberately, visible thong

I'd rather see you
Aiming to break that ubiquitous ceiling of glass
Than bent over in a video
With a credit card run up your @ss

I'd rather see you
With a mate deserving of you
And you of he
By loving and trusting and striving together
The way it should be
And NOT just the co-creator of a baby
Who is so sadly caught in the middle
While the warring parents try to
Figure of the "Woe is me" riddle
Of their lives
Because you both think
"You got Game.

"
And it's all about how to
Hurt the other
And cast the most blame

I'd rather see you
secure and sure
In and of yourself!
Loving YOU
Knowing YOU
Are deserving of so much more
YOU must believe it
To your very core
That YOU are a QUEEN
Whose majesty is just, yet, unseen
But not for long!
Cuz you've got it right
And "they've" got it wrong!

what will people think, when they hear that Im a jesus freak?

I remember way back when I was in elementary school about 1992. There was this place called Realife ministries, but we called it night church. Once a week at 6-7pm the college students from Indiana Wesleyan University, would host singing, playtime, snack, and a bible study for young kids once a week. We knew about it because it was across the street from my grandmas house. It was awesome, because outside of this we would also go to different attractions, like water parks, sleepovers, discovery zone, etc. Well on these rides we would listen to music and I remember that this song was big back then. My sister loved it. I'm just remembering this, so I went to look for the lyrics. I LOVE the lyrics, but I'm not to fond of the sound. haha
eNjoY!
[what will people think
When they hear that Im a jesus freak?
What will people do
When they find thats its true? ]

Separated, I cut myself clean
From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams
Been apprehended by a spiritual force
And a grace that replaced all the me Ive divorced

I saw a man with tat on his big fat belly
It wiggled around like marmalade jelly
It took me a while to catch what it said
Cause I had to match the rhythm
Of his belly with my head
jesus saves is what it raved in a typical tattoo green
He stood on a box in the middle of the city
And claimed he had a dream

(chorus)
What will people think
When they hear that Im a jesus freak
What will people do when they find that its true
I dont really care if they label me a jesus freak
There aint no disguising the truth

Kamikaze, my death is gain
Ive been marked by my maker
A peculiar display
The high and lofty, they see me as weak
Cause I wont live and die for the power they seek

There was a man from the desert with naps in his head
The sand that he walked was also his bed
The words that he spoke made the people assume
There wasnt too much left in the upper room
With skins on his back and hair on his face
They thought he was strange by the locusts he ate
The pharisees tripped when they heard him speak
Until the king took the head of this jesus freak

(repeat chorus 2x)

People say Im strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger
People say Im strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger

(repeat chorus 2x)

What will people think
[what will people think]
What will people do
[what will people do]
I dont really care
[what else can I say]
There aint no disguising the truth
[jesus is the way]

They gave my daughter the wrong immunizations...

Yup you heard right, they gave my daughter the four shots that my son was supposed to receive, and for my son, the one shot that my daughter was supposed to receive.
How did this happen you ask?!
Well My kids doctor told me that Cece was to get one, and JJ(Justin) four. The nurse came and and said Cece has to get four shots and I told her "no, I thought Cece is only supposed to get one" and she says "no, it says four here." So I thought that the doctor changed it or something. The next visit two weeks later the doctor was upset to hear that JJ only got one shot when he should have gotten four. She seemed pretty upset and left to talk to someone. When she came back she said Justin will just get the four he should of gotten two weeks ago.
You see Justin was going to get four shots 3/26 and one shot 4/16. So he got all the ones that he was supposed to get but Cece on the other hand got four extra shots that she shouldn't get until kindergarten, and didn't get the one that she was needing.
Whew does that make sense?
Well we came to the doctors office to get the one shot that Cece was supposed to get way back when and the nurse was very rude to us. Which made me upset, and my husband even said he thought she was being very rude as well. Now guys, the first thing I thought was I need to get out of here before I snap. Because when I do, it ain't gonna be pretty. So I took some time to cool down and called back. She had no right to disrespect us and even though I had some time to cool down I was still very upset ya know. My husband thought that since they screwed up my daughters shots, that maybe she got yelled at, or the person that did it got fired or whatever, but that's it I had nothing to do with them fucking up, so you can imagine my frustration right?! Has anyone ever been in this situation before? Was I wrong to get pissed off and voice my opinions to her?! I was upset about the immunizations and the attitude of this lady just sends me over the edge. I wanted to just change offices, but then I don't so that each time I come in contact with her I want to give her a piece of my mind LoL Vindictive ugh
F.Y.I. The doctor apoligized alot about the immunization mix up and said that Cece should be fine. They won't charge us for her kindergarten shots since they already billed our insurance and all. You know me, I had to get a second opinion. My babygirl will be fine.

Ugh, it's just been one of those days...

It's Saturday night, and I'm sitting in front of the computer eating Baldwin Cookies in cream.
Sad huh?!
Ugh Today was not my day. I had so many things planned and all of my plans went awry. I'm the type of person who likes a list...an itinerary sort of thing, even if it's just in my head. I am not spontaneous whatsoever, but i used to be way back when. Justin has helped me to not take myself so seriously ya know. My children went to sleep without a fuss, or fighting each other which is a HUGE accomplishment in my book.
Ugh it's just been one of those days...
Until next time...

The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom

If you're like me you enjoy watching inspiring shows, so when I tuned in to the new series of "Secret Life of a Soccer Mom," it inspired me. After watching it, I pulled out my old dusty burgundy suitcase, and do you know what laid inside? Drafting supplies...Oh how I wished I could massage the cold metal of a drafting table again. It was my first urge, my first true desire, my first longing, in a long time. Ya know, to even think about going back to college after 5 years was extremely scary. I discussed my fears and goals with my husband, on why I wanted to go back to school. For me, it was totally understandable why he was a little reluctant, it was only because he knew my desire to not go back in the past, and he wanted to respect my wishes. He really wanted me to go for myself, and not for other naive reasons. After I explained this longing to him, we set out a "game plan." The next day I started requesting brochures and such from different schools for Architecture, and I came across the Interior Designer career path. Shoot, Interior Designer? Me? Haha I don't want to be a decorator, I want to make a difference, know what I mean? The research I did in the days to come enlightened me because an Interior Decorator and a Interior Designer are not the same at all. After visiting schools and researching more, I have never felt so sure of a career in my life, than this path that I wanted to embark on. It's definitely going to be a change for me and my family but we are ready, so BRING IT ON!
Until next time...

Hurt People Hurt People

Hurt People Hurt People
Current Mood: Understanding
Listening: Oprah Winfrey Show-"Bill Cosby Calls Out the 'Dirty Laundry'"

I am so understanding of why I do things sometime...things I never understood until I watched the Opray Winfrey show today. Just some personal things about my relationship with my father...I mean the relationship I never had with my father, and how it has impacted me today. I am going to buy Bill Cosby's book, "Come On People," because I think it would be an excellent addition to my library. It is definitely a must read.
You can also go to Youtube.com to see a few speeches. I think they are only Part 1 and 2 but I'm not quite sure. I know he did a speech at High Point University, and CMU, but I'm not sure what else, just take a few minutes and check it out!

I figured out my password:)

Just venting
Current mood: betrayed

Why should i try to rekindle old friendships when they were never meant to be in the first place?! I'm a nice person a little too nice I care a little to much of what people think of me...I want everyone to like me but why?! Some people are never satisfied some people will always find a way to TRY to put you down or find something wrong with you. So fuck people in general...yea i said it. I'm tired of trying to make everyone feel good/welcome or whatever wtf...what about me?! I have two beautiful children; I have a sexy wonderful husband who has brought out the best in me. I am blessed so very blessed :) and my brothers, sisters, mom, and grandma who love me and would do anything for me and vice versa so you know what fuck everyone else.
If you didn't know now you know haha

Don't get me wrong i'm a fun person to hang around, unless you get on my bad side...like someone who enraged me...
anywho i was just venting. I'm just tired of people running over me. I'm tired of the lies the drama. But the big one is I'm tired of trusting people...letting people in when they will only hurt you in the end

No responses necessary I was only just venting and two lazy to figure out my blogspot password lol yea it's been a while

And for day two...

Each time I walk past room 308 in my mind I hear that "freddy" music ya know dun dun dun dun haha I hope that crazy guy has already gone.
Success ladys and gents!! Success!
We actually looked at a few apartments that weren't right for us but we also set up alot of appointments with leasing agents for tomorrow and I'm so excited. Originally the only places we could find on the net were priced at 1300-1600 and I am so relieved that alot of them...alot of nice ones here are actually 800-930. Can you believe it!
And what about this weather?! Now I know why they call it "The windy city."
You know what else?
I FREAKIN LOVE CHICAGO
I'm in love with it actually everything about it here. In Indiana you have to deal with stupid comments and looks and people being ignorant. We haven't got any of that here and It's just a beautiful city with lots to do and see, and alot of new things to eat.
And it's great that most of it is free.
Guess what?! All of the hype that you have heard about Chicago food is true!
I have one word for you GIORDANO'S. OMGosh people this pizza is freakin awesome I had to take a photo of it, and I'm going to make a scrapbook layout of it...I know I know I'm weird haha.
It was their world famous stuffed crust pizza and it was about a inch thick I kid you not. I'm so mesmerized that I want everyone to experience the greatness of Giordano's pizza!
Better yet Chicago!

Day one in the search of becoming a Chicago suburbanite

When we arrived my body told me that it was 12:00am
my laptop clock told me that it was 12:00am
but the clock at my bedside told a different story...
We arrived in Chicago, finally, and already we are in our third room.
The front desk gave us a room we went to it and opened it then an angry man ran toward the door while screaming 'get the *blank* out. The door had a latch on it but the whole situation was still insane! Our second room, we got in and got settled and then the heater wouldn't work so we were moved again. As disappointed as i was as soon as i opened the door to the new room, my disappointment disappeared. This room is awesomely nice! Cool beans.

I MISS MY BABIES!!!!But I know they are having fun with their grandma but it's just hard since I didn't get to tuck them in at night. I have always tucked them in at night or have been their as their father did it. *sniff sniff*
I MISS MY LITTLE ANGELS EXTREMELY

Just for today...

*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the
laundry, and pick you up and take you to the
park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in
the sink, and let you teach me how to put that
puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the
telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not
even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine
for the ice cream truck and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about
what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me
bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying
to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to
McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so
you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms
and tell you a story about how you were born
and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the
tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late
while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you
for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my finger
through your hair as you pray, I
will simply be grateful that GOD has given me the greatest gift
ever given.

*I will think about the mothers and fathers who
are searc hing for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their
children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and
mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms
watching their children suffer senselessly, and
screaming inside that they can't handle it
anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you
a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will
thank GOD for you, and ask Him for nothing,
except one more day............

Ladies she's talking crazy

Man it's not going so good...I sent my rent check in the mail (it was so naive of me!) and someone cashed it...can you believe it?! That sucks it was a lot of money and now my landlord is talking crazy. She says that has nothing to do with her which is stupid because someone cashed her check...it had her name on it. I think that has a lot to do with her don't you?! Thankfully the bank is checking it out as we speak...running a trace on it so that gives me a little relief. It makes me wonder...hmmm did she cash it or someone she knew. Is she being deceptive? I mean she lives in Virginia and I'm in Indiana. Nothing has been fixed...nothing at all. We had a verbal agreement before we moved here and every thing's still the same, including a rusty pole and dangerous wires that are exposed. They can put my children's lives in danger...wait wait I mean they are outside and I make sure that my children don't go near them, the rare times that we have been outside.

...or maybe I'm just starting to talk crazy what do you think?!

I don't know I just thank GOD so much that we only signed a 6mo lease and I am so ready to move from this horrible house! We will be moving to Chicago...I think Schaum burg because guess what?!
Justin got the Job!
I am so excited and ready to take on this journey in our lives! A new place and a awesome salary. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives!!!

Until next time...

light at the end...I see it.

I AM SO STRESSED!
I thought I was finished with one obstacle and now I see another in the distance...the problem is I don't know if it's a big as it seems.
I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel though...I see it.
and that's great because I'm in the middle ya know...anyhow...
I AM SO STRESSED
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It's like my list just keeps getting bigger and bigger...I just want to throw it away and forget about it but I can't because there are people depending on me...

What a mighty GOD we serve!

What A Mighty GOD We Serve!!!

wannabe friend

I was fine...Man yesterday was not the day for my wannabe friend to rear it's ugly red-head at me!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I hate periods! but hey who doesn't right? I'm always in so much pain. And I'm supposed to be leaving today gone till Friday night or Saturday morning This sucks...

So Yea...

Wow Justin will be flying to Chicago Thursday night to stay at a hotel, since he will have to be at his future place of employment at 7am., and he'll come back Friday night. I'm excited. Friday I will know more about the rest of our lives so I'm super excited and not stressed anymore
I was extemely stressed the past few days and I didn't know why and then I started my period haha so that explains alot.
I have noticed that the morning before I start I always get really crabby, it's like a pattern now not to mention being pregnant for 18mo nursing for 17 (Cece for 7mo and JJ for 10mo.) I haven't had one in forever...That was something that I was happy to see go, considering the horrible cramps I would get. They would be so bad that I would just curl up in bed in so much pain. Pain from my abdomen down to my toes and when I couldn't take it anymore i'd go to the hospital they would give me some really heavy pain killers. You know nothing ever worked for my cramps not any kind of over the counter pain killers, heating pads, nothing. Although they did take the edge off...not that that was much.
WHOA WHOA WHOA I am off on a tanget so anywho...
I'll be gone maybe until Saturday morning...so yea...

Until next time...

waiting is my nemisis

dO yOU kNOW wHAT i'M rEALLY tIRED oF?
Justin is usually in school anywhere from 7am-12pm he'll get home about 6pm and then he has to go to work from 6:15pm to 10:30pm...That sucks.
I know that he's doing this for us and if I wanted him to be home more he would be but then it would be me going to work. and he doesn't want me to have to.
I know we will only have one more month of these before he gets his Computer Analyst job or whatever he does with computers then he'll be home alot more.
I just need to suck it up and wait huh...but waiting is my nemesis...

I'm tired

I'm tired
Tired of bills, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, naps, sippy cups, cooking, children shows, toys that I'm always stubbing my toe on, spills that I'm always slipping on, being peed, puked, and pooped on, of everything!
I was kind of hesitant to write a post today because I don't want anyone to think(If anyone reads my posts at all) that I'm tired of my kids and husband. Don't get me wrong I love the family life I just want a break. I want to go to the movies with Justin, to dinner...just the two of us...does that sound bad? I guess at this point in time there's just so much to think about, that I'm thinking about and a lot of changes that are about to occur...it's kind of stressful.

Now back to the peed and puked part...I guess it's different at night when I tuck them in to bed. I get to come out to the living room and breathe a sigh of relief...I guess this is the time that I have with my husband.
And dinner It's neat for Cece to always want to help and with baths she loves to help with that...I guess It's not as bad as it seems so I guess I'll hurry and hit "Publish Post" before I change my mind.

Until next time...

Whoa that's deep...

I'm not a mean person
I'm too nice at times
genuine
an excellent listener
I'm a great friend
and the few who can call me friend...I mean who I can call friend as well
they know...does that make sense?
I'm very trustworthy but it's hard to trust people
because...well because I've been hurt in the past
scratch hurt...I've been battered and bruised my heart has been scarred, by these so called "friends." And I will always remember that pain...So it's hard for me to trust..
I just don't like rejection ...I HATE rejection

Wow that was kind of hard to say whoa that's deep...I was just sitting here thinking and I typed all of that above. My daughter fell off of her bed so I went in to comfort here.
I'm so glad, I'm so happy that I have my family!

Justin has showed me how to trust and love does that make sense?
I remember the person I was when and before I met him and I'm glad that I have changed
Since I have been with him I have changed tremendously.
It's not like it was anything bad, it was just my mindset of people in general.
Because of the way I have been treated...
do you know what I mean?

Until next time...