Ladies she's talking crazy

Man it's not going so good...I sent my rent check in the mail (it was so naive of me!) and someone cashed it...can you believe it?! That sucks it was a lot of money and now my landlord is talking crazy. She says that has nothing to do with her which is stupid because someone cashed her check...it had her name on it. I think that has a lot to do with her don't you?! Thankfully the bank is checking it out as we speak...running a trace on it so that gives me a little relief. It makes me wonder...hmmm did she cash it or someone she knew. Is she being deceptive? I mean she lives in Virginia and I'm in Indiana. Nothing has been fixed...nothing at all. We had a verbal agreement before we moved here and every thing's still the same, including a rusty pole and dangerous wires that are exposed. They can put my children's lives in danger...wait wait I mean they are outside and I make sure that my children don't go near them, the rare times that we have been outside.

...or maybe I'm just starting to talk crazy what do you think?!

I don't know I just thank GOD so much that we only signed a 6mo lease and I am so ready to move from this horrible house! We will be moving to Chicago...I think Schaum burg because guess what?!
Justin got the Job!
I am so excited and ready to take on this journey in our lives! A new place and a awesome salary. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives!!!

Until next time...

light at the end...I see it.

I AM SO STRESSED!
I thought I was finished with one obstacle and now I see another in the distance...the problem is I don't know if it's a big as it seems.
I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel though...I see it.
and that's great because I'm in the middle ya know...anyhow...
I AM SO STRESSED
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It's like my list just keeps getting bigger and bigger...I just want to throw it away and forget about it but I can't because there are people depending on me...

What a mighty GOD we serve!

What A Mighty GOD We Serve!!!

wannabe friend

I was fine...Man yesterday was not the day for my wannabe friend to rear it's ugly red-head at me!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I hate periods! but hey who doesn't right? I'm always in so much pain. And I'm supposed to be leaving today gone till Friday night or Saturday morning This sucks...

So Yea...

Wow Justin will be flying to Chicago Thursday night to stay at a hotel, since he will have to be at his future place of employment at 7am., and he'll come back Friday night. I'm excited. Friday I will know more about the rest of our lives so I'm super excited and not stressed anymore
I was extemely stressed the past few days and I didn't know why and then I started my period haha so that explains alot.
I have noticed that the morning before I start I always get really crabby, it's like a pattern now not to mention being pregnant for 18mo nursing for 17 (Cece for 7mo and JJ for 10mo.) I haven't had one in forever...That was something that I was happy to see go, considering the horrible cramps I would get. They would be so bad that I would just curl up in bed in so much pain. Pain from my abdomen down to my toes and when I couldn't take it anymore i'd go to the hospital they would give me some really heavy pain killers. You know nothing ever worked for my cramps not any kind of over the counter pain killers, heating pads, nothing. Although they did take the edge off...not that that was much.
WHOA WHOA WHOA I am off on a tanget so anywho...
I'll be gone maybe until Saturday morning...so yea...

Until next time...

waiting is my nemisis

dO yOU kNOW wHAT i'M rEALLY tIRED oF?
Justin is usually in school anywhere from 7am-12pm he'll get home about 6pm and then he has to go to work from 6:15pm to 10:30pm...That sucks.
I know that he's doing this for us and if I wanted him to be home more he would be but then it would be me going to work. and he doesn't want me to have to.
I know we will only have one more month of these before he gets his Computer Analyst job or whatever he does with computers then he'll be home alot more.
I just need to suck it up and wait huh...but waiting is my nemesis...

I'm tired

I'm tired
Tired of bills, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, naps, sippy cups, cooking, children shows, toys that I'm always stubbing my toe on, spills that I'm always slipping on, being peed, puked, and pooped on, of everything!
I was kind of hesitant to write a post today because I don't want anyone to think(If anyone reads my posts at all) that I'm tired of my kids and husband. Don't get me wrong I love the family life I just want a break. I want to go to the movies with Justin, to dinner...just the two of us...does that sound bad? I guess at this point in time there's just so much to think about, that I'm thinking about and a lot of changes that are about to occur...it's kind of stressful.

Now back to the peed and puked part...I guess it's different at night when I tuck them in to bed. I get to come out to the living room and breathe a sigh of relief...I guess this is the time that I have with my husband.
And dinner It's neat for Cece to always want to help and with baths she loves to help with that...I guess It's not as bad as it seems so I guess I'll hurry and hit "Publish Post" before I change my mind.

Until next time...

Whoa that's deep...

I'm not a mean person
I'm too nice at times
genuine
an excellent listener
I'm a great friend
and the few who can call me friend...I mean who I can call friend as well
they know...does that make sense?
I'm very trustworthy but it's hard to trust people
because...well because I've been hurt in the past
scratch hurt...I've been battered and bruised my heart has been scarred, by these so called "friends." And I will always remember that pain...So it's hard for me to trust..
I just don't like rejection ...I HATE rejection

Wow that was kind of hard to say whoa that's deep...I was just sitting here thinking and I typed all of that above. My daughter fell off of her bed so I went in to comfort here.
I'm so glad, I'm so happy that I have my family!

Justin has showed me how to trust and love does that make sense?
I remember the person I was when and before I met him and I'm glad that I have changed
Since I have been with him I have changed tremendously.
It's not like it was anything bad, it was just my mindset of people in general.
Because of the way I have been treated...
do you know what I mean?

Until next time...